When I began this blog I thought that my family would be joining me in St. Kitts, and I had a strong faith in the work that God was doing in my life. I had high hopes to come to medical school and be a beacon of for Him. I thought I would have bible studies in my apartment and I would share my story with people. I thought I would grow closer to Him and become more firmly planted in my faith.
Wow! We never know what lies ahead of us. My husband wouldn't move to the island with me. So I had to make a decision, to give up our one chance at being productive members of society or give up being with my family for a year. I felt that it was a huge sacrifice, but that we would all recover and our lives and relationships would be stronger if I stayed and completed the journey that I began.
I stayed on the island.
I visit home in between semesters. I miss my children so much. And now I am publicly putting it out there that I am going through a divorce. My husband decided that we had different goals and he asked me for a divorce or to come home.
I stayed on the island.
I don't regret it yet. I wanted my life to represent something that people would envy and I would be able to say, " see what God has done, and against all odds." I might still get that chance but it is a very different life from what I had first imagined.
I am continually reminded of how my plans are not my own. My faith is stronger, but different.
My church family was less supportive of my decision to stay. I am shaken at my core. It is something I never imagined.
So, let me tell you all, if you are christian and a member of a church family. Choosing sides is out. God calls us to a higher calling. Love. When a marriage is ending it is a difficult thing for both the husband and the wife-- and the church. I want to encourage you all to use this as an opportunity to help those who need you. Neither person needs someone to validate, justify, or negate their decisions. If you can listen, offer your home, and be understanding then you are helping.
Prayers are great, but remember that when we pray we are talking to God and it isn't to be used as a sermon for the one you are praying for. Prayer is not for show, it is an out pouring of our hearts requests to God.
So this brings me to the title, I am so glad that I began blogging when I left, so that I have something to look back on. I remember that my reasons for staying and coming were pure and honest and good. I remember that excitement that I had when I first came here. It was intoxicating no doubt.
I am certain that I want to try to recapture that person that left the states a year ago. I don't want my circumstances to change who I am. I want to focus on staying strong in my faith, and remain hopeful and excited about the future.
Blessings,
Amy
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| I am not sure how to rotate this photo but it was my first semester, ARP. |
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| this was actually when I home between med 2 and med 3 |
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| my third semester on the island, but Med 2. |
